A Healthy Mind Strive for Success

Most people don’t want to see you succeed, because it will remind them that they didn’t

As I reflect upon what took place last night I find myself giggling.  Oh!  I wasn’t laughing when it happened but I am now.  Which means I’ve moved on.  Man, I love when I can bounce back quickly and return to normal after being so upset.

Well this is what happened:

A few weeks ago I began to feel very uncomfortable about how I’v been keeping house.  I found a new hobby a few years back in couponing.  Months after couponing my hauls had taken over my life and temporarily my home.  To control clutter by how much I kept I would donate a large percentage of my items.  It was somewhere in all of my couponing my mom needed me.

Sadly, my oldest sister that stays with my mom struggle with mental health issues.  So life for them can be stressful when my sister is having bad moments.  To add to the stresses in my mom’s home are my sister’s adult children that have become freeloaders.

Well, my niece pays my mom rent.  Not sure how much but I do know it is less than $500 a month.

Can you believe my sister and her child got upset because my mom decided to charge rent?  That’s another story for another day.

Anywho . . . I began to help my mom and my sister by doing double Dutch entrances and exits.  Because my sister suffers from schizophrenia she has concluded I’m an enemy.  Worse, people that are jealous of me for whatever reasons confirm her wacky thoughts.   Their deceit are seeds of evil that will be repaid to them.  So I really try not to worry about their evil ways.  However, I’m in a war with battles happening nearly every day!

I kept couponing because it was the only thing that freed me from the stresses of my mom’s life.  Unbeknown to her and others my life intertwines with hers for more reasons than because she’s my mom.  At one point in my life my mom was my everything.  And to see her in her current state of affairs is heart wrenching.  So, like I wrote, couponing became an avenue for me to escape the madness but I forgot to manage my items; and, now I live in a house that has clutter that keeps me depress.

I no longer have hallways I have pathways.  I feel very overwhelmed.  And to make matters worse are the vultures that circle.  I’m so sick of hearing people ask for things.  I’m so sick of people trying to get new and expensive things for less than I paid.  Honestly, I’m sick of people at the moment.  And if I’m brutally honest, I’m really fed up of me!

Well, anywho, a friend told me about this group on Facebook.  She thought it would be a great place for me to earn cash and unloaded items; therefore, she added me to the group.

The first time I posted something for sale I was immediately told I could not use stock photos and to turn off the selling feature.

I got it!  Stock photos aren’t exactly what you’re selling and could deceive a buyer as to what they were truly getting.

Well, anywho, I began to take my own photos and cleaning the background.  The next thing I knew I got this humiliating response to a post from admin.

I was first shocked at the juvenile way she was handling things [blood still boiling]!  Maybe I haven’t completely moved on [laughter]!  But!  I’ll try and continue writing this post without getting upset.  Below is the dialogue that took place last night:

Admin:  “Anne (last name omitted) we need pictures of the actual items. . . NO MORE STOCK PHOTOS, this is in our rules.  Thank you! -admin”

Me:  “Tara this is not a stock photo.  I’m a professional seller and a photographer.  I know how to clean the background.  So how would you like for me to post my photos?”SBR Hot Sauce 12 FL OZ.jpg

Me:  “Here’s the actual photo before I clean the background.”IMG_0405[1].JPG

Admin:  “Anne ok as long as these are the items that you are actually selling.  We have had people that are complaining because it the past they have had to put the Actual photo when they are using stock photos.  I thought it was kind of odd that you had ‘actual’ amount each time but doing my admin duty.  Thank you for clarifying. ~admin”

Admin:  “perfect thanks.”

Me:  “every photo I’ve posted has been of the item(s) I’m selling and or sold.  As far as people complaining about my photos there’s nothing I can do about their mistrust issues.  Not everyone is out to scam someone of their hard earn dollars.  At least, I’m not.  It would have been nice if you had contacted me privately since you thought yelling at me would be the best way to get your point across about stock photos.  As you know caps signify yelling and I don’t know any man, woman and or child that enjoys being yelled at, especially in public.  And, as a 57 year old woman, I certainly don’t appreciate being treated like a child that hasn’t learn to respect rules.  I read your rules.  I do my best to follow your rules.  My friend also thought my photos were stock and spoke to me about them.  I assured her they were my photos as I’ve done with you.  So please don’t take my response personal, I’m just doing my job as the owner of my life and ensuring no one mistreats me, especially for trying to help other as I help myself. ~Annette”

End of dialogue

I wrote and shared all of the above to write this:  There are people that will be okay with average and complain about those that strive for perfection as they wallow in life miseries.  Don’t let that be you!  Always!  Always!  Strive for outstanding!  You and I deserve the best this life has to offer.

 

God’s Little Nugget: Day 11

HiltlerMy husband loves to read and or watch documentaries on war.  As a result, I’ve found myself watching documentaries on certain wars and people of interest.  And the person that sparks my curiosity is Hitler.

Hitler was to have been among the world’s greatest orators and evil should also be added to his strong and warped personality traits when discussing him and his actions.

I believe he rose to power because of jealousy.  As why it was so easy for him to convince a nation of people that felt they were entitled.  Their greed and or laziness made them believe it was okay to kill Jews, people with disabilities and old folks.

To make matters worse, those individuals that went along with Hitler felt comfortable in plundering their victims personal possession after sentencing them to a life of torture and later death.  With that said, you would think what happen decades ago would influence how we treat people today.  Not.

Right here in America we have people that are being treated the same as the Jews from that horrid moment in time.

After watching documentaries and reading books about “man’s inhumanity to man” I’ve conclude evilness go hand in hand with delusion and denial.

“Those who hate to hear the truth and love to live off of lies can’t handle reality.”  Scottie Waves

God’s Little Nugget: Day 10

“A bird does not sing because it has an answer.  It sings because it has a song.”  Chinese Proverb

YellowWarble

Photo by Keith Williams

So often dark hearted individuals are suspicious and jealous of joyful people.  Their evil mindset keep them from truly enjoying life and what they don’t understanding they tag as a threat.

Give them a wide birth.  Enjoy your life.  They will eventually fall on their own swords.

God’s Little Nugget: Day Four

dark times teach you alot quotes

A couple of years back my husband and I loaned my son’s girlfriend five thousand dollars to purchase a car. We should have known when the first payment came due and she made no efforts to contact us or start repaying the monies she took that it would never be repaid.

Her actions aren’t unsettling as the actions of people that claim to like and love me are.  Loaning her such a large amount of money purchased me life lesson’s I will never forget.

This is what I’ve learned:

  • Some kisses and hugs that come across as sentimental are fake even when they come from trusted family members and loved ones.
  • Not everyone rejoice when you strive for and gain financial security.
  • Not everyone wishes you well.
  • Promissory Notes don’t secure your efforts in retrieving monies loaned.
  • Only evil people pretend to love you,
  • and only jealous people are glad for your misfortune.

What happened to me was a Black on Black crime.  She’s black.  I’m Black.  She took money she never meant to pay back.

Since that unfortunate moment I’ve learned about helping others, especially when I’m also in need of financial help.

The money she kept was money that would have paid upcoming and expected bills.

My husband and I paid an expensive price for the lesson I needed to learn.  If there’s a silver-lining in all of this I venture to write, I’m the better for what took place because I learned many things about “man’s inhumanity to man.”

 

God’s Little Nugget: Day Three

Numbers 6 24 and 26

I’m stronger because I had to be, I’m smarter because of my mistakes, happier because of the sadness I’ve known, and now wiser because I learned.

When you hang with dark people your life takes on darkness.  Their dark thoughts become your mental struggles and a defeatist attitude becomes your norm.

God’s Little Nugget: Day One

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

These are dark times, there is no denying.  Our world has perhaps faced no greater threat than it does today.  But I say this to our citizenry:  We, ever your servants, will continue to defend your liberty and repel the forces that seek to take it from you!  Your Ministry remains, strong.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1

Good morning, soul!  Did I forget to mention I’m a Christian?  Well, I am.  And this is one of those days I need to remind myself of that.

For the last couple of years my faith has been battling for what is right in the sight of God and most times I felt defeated.  As a result, I became depressed and short tempered.

My depression had taken the avenue of “why do I have to fight this battle alone when I believe in God?  He’s big.  So why can’t He take care of this matter?”  And on the flip side of things being short tempered is not new to me.  My mom was short tempered and it seems the behavior I hated as a child now visits me.

Oh!  My!  Goodness!  I have found myself in dark times and I need to protect my soul.  So Psalm 51:10 is needed for this day and everyday until I see the light of God in all situations:  Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.  Amen

 

Their World Isn’t Mine

Harriet TubmanYesterday I was in a part of Denver I rarely pass through but my cousin wanted me to go with her to Downing Supermarket [that nasty place].
I’m not sure why my cousin won’t go to a meat market in our area and order smoke neck bones and frozen greens but she doesn’t.  I think she likes hanging out from time to time with the roughnecks of the world.  Not me.
 
Well, anywhohow, I was waiting at the meat counter with my cousin for her turn to be helped.  As I was standing there my nose was wrinkled at the unappealing meat in the display case.  It looked nothing like the meat I purchase at the local supermarkets nor at meat markets.  So, yes, inwardly I question it and its origin.  
 
Thinking to self I said “I wouldn’t purchase this meat.”  Well my thoughts weren’t savory.  Knowing me, I had a few cuss words somewhere in my mental thoughts.  But, don’t worry, I’m asking God to help me with my cussing.
Anywho, a pre-teen was bouncing around the customers.  Her parents said nothing to her about her early adolescence behavior.  So she moved from here to there and then she bounced herself face to face with me and we locked eyes.  Our encounter was brief but the eye to eye contact made her uneasy.  Unbeknown to me, she conveyed her feelings to her parents.   
 
So minutes later I walked back from an area closest to the meat counter and saw a sign about fresh eggs. I stood reading it.
 
When I turned back towards the meat counter the little girls dad said, “Hello.” I exchanged what I thought was pleasantries. Not! The next thing I knew the man says, “Why are you looking at my daughter.”
 
I was truly caught off guard. So I said, I wasn’t looking at your daughter, I was reading that sign but I can look at her if you want me too!”
 
I guess my response caught the young man off guard as his insulting question initially caught me off mine.
 
You could tell he wasn’t easy about me being around his daughter but his feeling were fuel by paranoia that is feed by the community within they live.  It was clear to see from my behavior his world wasn’t my world.  
 
Until now, I was oblivious to his world. I was passing through and had no plans of returning. So the people within it really never mattered.  I thought!  But!  God works in mysterious ways.
 
I praise God for keeping me safe because that young hotheaded gang member could have killed me. I praise Him for allowing me to see the need He has prepared me to assist Him in fulfilling. I praise Him for the avenues He’s going to open for me to help His people. I praise Him for just being God!  My Heavenly father and redeemer!  Amen!

My Prayer Was Answered: April 7, 2018

swarming locustNo sooner than publishing my post “I Need A Life Sustaining Nugget from God” my phone ranged. It was my middle son. He was returning my call from a few days ago.

Seeing his number on caller ID made my day. As I viewed who was calling I deliberated should I tell him about my painful decision.

He lives hundreds of miles away. He’s happy with his relationship choice. He enjoys his job. He views life as it should be lived. One day at a time. He dislikes drama and avoid making comments when I’m in-raged about his older brother. So I wanted to stay clear of upsetting him.

He could tell something was wrong. I told him what happened. He was disappointed it came to the decision I made. He said something like this: “Well, mom, my brother must live his life. The loaning of this money is a lesson to everyone. If my brother doesn’t get the lesson, the lesson will continue to visit him until he gets it.”

Nugget from God:

It’s a good thing to help others that are in need. If they abuse the resources God sends or sent their way then life lessons will continue until they learn whatever they need to learn.

Prayer:

Lord each time I write or speak of the money that my son’s girlfriend refuses to repay I become upset. Today, Lord, I’m asking for God’s peace on a good deed that went bad. I want to move on. Help me find ways to replace what the locust have eaten. Amen

I Need A Life Sustaining Nugget from God

UnfoldTwo days ago Jeff and I was out looking for property. We’re trying to make my (his) dream come true of living in the mountains in a log home. No I ain’t got it like that! But! I’m willing to work hard for what I want.
Well any-who, we stopped at a local grocery store. A young white woman was getting out of an SUV. It appeared as if she was mean mugging me, Jeff or both. So I stopped looking her way and walked towards the store’s entry.
Her kid nearly knocked me down. He was a kid so I excused his, what appeared to be, bad behavior.
We crossed paths with the lady several times during our shopping trip. Oddly enough we checked out about the same time as she did. It was then when I saw the bigger picture.
She was a mom that has a child that is mentally challenge.
Her attitude was that of a frustrated parent.
My heart sank and all I concluded about her diminished as I could only imagine her life and the challenges she face daily.
So I thought to self this woman needs to know God has not forgotten about her. You know what I mean. Sometimes life can be so brutal that you need a life sustaining nugget from the Creator. So I asked my husband to pull our vehicle up to her so I could see what she needed.
She was finishing with putting her rambunctious kid and items into the car.
I looked at her with compassion. I said, “Mam, I’m a couponer. I have more than I can use. What can I bring back to you?” She was shocked! She looked as if she wanted to cry.
She said, “Wait a minute. I want my mom to hear this.” So she had her mom to roll down the window. I repeated what I had asked the lady to her mom. Her mom sat there speechless.

I spend most of my days trying to do what God expects of His children.  I even try to live my own life and allow others to live theirs.  But the past couple of days I’ve been so drained from toxic family members.  OMG!

Yesterday was a bad day!  I’ve had to cut ties with my oldest son based on a rumor that was a lie.  I’ve had to bridle my tongue when it came to dealing with family members that suffer from mental health issues.  I’ve had to listen to gossip about my actions concerning helping my son’s girl-friend purchase a new and reliable car.  Something that was meant to aid both he and her in continuing their journey to a secure financial future as a couple.  I allowed the rumors of what my son’s girl friend had done to keep from paying me get underneath my skin!  Later finding out she hadn’t done it!  My poor husband has had enough of watching the affects of me dealing with a toxic family.  He finally put his foot down starting with the loaning of the $5,000 to my oldest son’s girl friend that she now refuse to pay.  Now, I’m having to watch my husband suffer emotionally from his decision when it came to giving me the ultimatum about cutting ties with my son.

After years of returning to a family I found toxic I’ve found myself on unstable ground.  I can’t seem to get footing.  Lately, I’ve been seeing myself getting upset with God because he won’t just do away with them all!  Surly he sees they don’t serve a purpose.  They are so toxic that it’s the norm among them.  Really!  You know how babies communicate with each other and they sound silly!  Well that’s my mom’s family!  They sit and plan their future with the gain from peoples death.  They think it’s okay to take other people’s earthly belongings before the person dies!  Then!  Wait!  Then they tell that person that’s asking for their property back that they will decided who will get it once the she dies!  Then you have men wanting to beat up people for telling them the truth about their inabilities of being a man!  They wear unhealthiness like it was fashionable!  And!  In style!  Oh!  Wait!  Being unhealthy is in style!  That’s why Jesus had to die for us all!

But!  My mom’s family!  OMG!  They take greed, stupidity, ignorance, self-pity, deceit, thievery, dishonesty and so much more that decays the soul to heights that the word of God can’t penetrate them.  It’s as if they’ve been turned over to reprobate minds.

Yet!  They go to church every Sunday or most Sundays.  Always speak in such a manner that makes the hearer believe they are true followers of Christ.  Then in the backdrop of life their behavior clearly shows they don’t believe God is real.  Cause the things they do I would be afraid to die in their current state.
The thing that put me back in the pickle barrel of toxic people is the failing health of my mom.  After returning I see why my mom has heart problems spiritually and physically!
Gosh!  Doggit!  Her family is so toxic!
They make mountains out of molehills!  They want understanding but can’t give it!  They want compassion but don’t know how to apply it when it comes to dealing with others!

[Sigh] I find myself praying daily things that are crazy and later finding myself asking God for forgiveness for those crazy thoughts.

Prayer:  God, I need you to give me your peace that surpasses all understanding as I help my mom during the last phase of her life.  Let me be a good daughter not because I seek applause from onlookers but because your word says, “Honor thy mother and thy father.”  I ask your protection from the arrows of those that tend to do me harm physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I ask that your word continue to be truth in my life even when my way is cloudy.  And, most of all, God can you please give me a life nugget today.  Something that will feed my hungry soul on this journey you’ve aloud to unfold.  Amen