Portland pimp sues Nike for $100 million for lack of warning label after beating victim with Jordans

This can not be real! No! This article is a spoof of something that can’t be real! Truly! Is he serious?!!!! Now this lawsuit (if real) is utterly ridiculous. Oh! My! Goodness!

Fellowship of the Minds

Oregon Live: A 26-year-old Portland pimp has filed a $100 million lawsuit against Nike, claiming the shoe manufacturer is partially responsible for a brutal beating that helped net him a100-year prison sentence.

Sirgiorgiro Clardy claims Nike should have placed a label in his Jordan shoes warning consumers that they could be used as a dangerous weapon. He was wearing a pair when he repeatedly stomped the face of a john who was trying to leave a Portland hotel without paying Clardy’s prostitute in June 2012.

Jurors early in 2013 found him guilty of second-degree assault for using his Jordans — a dangerous weapon — to beat the john’s face to a pulp. The man required stitches and plastic surgery on his nose.The jury also found him guilty of robbing the john and beating the 18-year-old woman he forced to work as his prostitute. She…

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