About the Author

As life would have it I was born to two wonderful parents; but sadly they never realized they were great people in their own rights.  Because of their emotional deficiencies they could not, would not, co-parent children they created together. Life for me was like living on a battlefield of never-ending arguments.   Nevertheless, today, I still consider myself bless for their genetic participation for my existence.  Life was hard but I persevered through the rough times, and I thank God for the good times that came few and far between life trials and tribulations.

I became a mother at the age of 17.  It was clear I was too young to realize my mistake.  Without life experience and no one to guide me I entered adulthood unprepared.  I married my son’s dad before I finish high school.  I had my son soon after high school graduation.  Be still my sad and beating heart.  Right at this moment I feel the adults in my life failed me; but they were not alone.  So many of my high school classmates either married too young, became parents too soon or did nothing to mention with their lives.  Now that is really sad.

And worse yet, not soon after I had given birth to my son I left my husband for cheating and beating me.  Yeah!  Can you believe he hit me because he got caught cheating?  Needless to write the woman he cheated with conceived and had a daughter.  My, my, the odd of creating a good and healthy life style was not in my favor.  I came out of high school making foolish choices for my life.  Did you catch the “my life” part?   Sadly too many people don’t realize the lives they are living are theirs.  As a result they make poor choices and live lives of continual havoc.  Any-who-how, I moved to Louisiana to attend college at Grambling.  Hum.  That never happened!  See a pattern here!  I’m making poor choices again!

By the time I turned 19-20 I met this really nice guy.  He was older.  He had more to offer than my immature husband, but again he was not a good choice.  He carried a gun and he lost his life because of a gun.  However, before his death he did try to change the course of my life.  He wanted more for me and my young son.  He brought me a one-way plane ticket to Colorado and encouraged me to apply for college.  I took his advice but I did not attend the traditional college or university.  Instead I applied for a medical assistant program where I graduated with a 98% GPA.  Good choice short-lived.

After graduation I worked for one of Colorado up and coming Black gynecologist.  I ran the front and back office and assisted in examines.  I knew my stuff.  The doctor was proud to have me on staff.  He tried to encourage me to return to school and build upon my skills in the gynecology field, but youth and stupidity won again.  Once again, I made a poor choice by quitting my job to work for a credit card company.  Credit card Company!  Hello!  By this time my parents should have seen the self-destructive warning signs.  Nope.  They were too busy doing them.  So I continued down the wrong road with a little person in tow.

I’m just shaking my head in disbelief.  It is hard to acknowledge my parents failure in assisting me to acquire a successful and full life style.  It is even harder to accept their poor or lack of parental skills.  It makes me angry to shed light to their inability to help me get on the track.  Truly they saw the warning signs.  My father was excellent at expressing how I would never amount to anything.  Mainly because he felt I did not know “the kings English.  I was a woman and I was Black.”  Yes, you read right!  My father said those horrible things to me his daughter.

Looking for acceptance I continued dating ALL the wrong men.  I never felt comfortable with any man from any walk of life.  I’m not saying I am a lesbian.  I’m not saying I have problems with women that date other women.  Hey to each its own.  I’m saying I struggled in selecting men that fit the life style I desired or wanted.  Believe it or not, every man I dated or married came with more baggage than I was carrying.  Yet in the midst of chaos I managed to gain and or acquire the below successes:

I am a proud mother, grand-parent and wife.  I am an unpublished author.  When I was a single parent I brought two houses.  I have my high school diploma as well as a Medical Assistance diploma.  I have my Bachelors of Science in Organizational Management with an Emphasis in Human Resources.  Several years ago, I was a year away from receiving my Masters of Divinity with an Emphasis in Youth Ministries, but the stresses of life hindered me from completing the program.  I am a photographer that prefers to shoot weddings.  I have encouraged each of my son’s to attended college.  Presently I have one son attending a state college where he is pursuing a degree in education and administration.  I have another son attending a university where he is pursuing a degree in Computer Science.  This particular son speaks and read Japanese and excels in Latin.  I have acquired temporary custody of my grand-daughter that came to me unruly.  She did not want to attend college.  She boldly told me a degree had no value.  Let’s just say grandma whipped her into shape.  She is now onboard for college.  She is planning to attend college as everyone else has done and is doing.  Her economic change has given her the ability to dream and expect more out and from life.  I try to vacation at least twice a year.  My husband and I are lovers of nature; therefore, we go camping as often as time permits.  But we camp Annette’s style in a luxury travel trailer.  A fellow camper told me our camper was like a home away from home.  She got it right!  With all said and looking back on my accomplishments, I guess during parts of my life I was making a few good choices, and the decision to write about “Black Women Have It Going On” is one of my best life choices.

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20 thoughts on “About the Author

  1. WOW, Annette, interesting life and outcome thus far…it goes to show that ‘everything’ happens for a reason…sometimes we know and others we don’t…but the value is in the learning from the experience…which I am presumptuous to say, that you have. Kudos to you. 🙂

    • It has been an interesting life but a wonderful life with a few moments of disappointments, but my children and the love they give tend to medicate the times I would like to forget. The word of God say’s “gather up the fragments that none be loss.” I believe God is gathering the fragments of my broken life; and as I write He is creating a new person with a true meaning of living a successful lifestyle.

  2. Thanks for telling us your story. It’s a good one. Having guidance from competent people while we are young can really make or break someone’s life. Sadly, I think the great majority of us are thrown out there with next to nothing. Most parents just don’t understand that raising a child involves more than feeding them and putting a roof over their head. An orphanage can do that.

    Sounds like you’ve done well. I really mean it. It takes a special person to admit their mistakes and not justify them with excuses. Your family is lucky to have you around in their lives.

  3. Thank you for sharing your story. I currently work in a domestic violence shelter, and I see many of the same life issues on a day to day basis. As hard as it is to watch other women go through such trauma, I realize that we are all on a different point in our journey and that growth can only come from inside. I was placed in my job by God and feel blessed by my ladies everyday, as they are my teachers as much as I am theirs. I believe that nothing in life happens on accident and that we are all placed in each others path on purpose. You have had some hard lessons in life,and now you are a shinning beacon for others as they walk down that dark path. Many blessings to you for lighting the way for those who are struggling.

  4. Artis, you have invited me to contribute to your blog, “blackwomenhaveitgoingon”. I don’t think I can even begin to create a written article as full of life, love, strength, and challenges as you have shared with us. I can, however, give plenty of perspectives, plenty of opinions, plenty of unwarranted advice, and plenty of sarcastic (occasionally witty) remarks. But I can’t contribute anything regarding a black woman’s perspective … on anything.
    What I can give is a woman’s perspective in an often male-dominated world, an American’s perspective of almost anything except war and politics (both of which I am sick to death of), and a white woman’s perspective on anything that pops into my head.
    I can tell you a little bit about the struggle, however minor it may seem in comparison to so many of life’s struggles, of having a bi-racial relationship in the mid-seventies: the family issues, the reactions from blacks, and the reactions from other whites.
    I can tell you some of the experiences I had working as a civilian with law enforcement personnel, both from a small town perspective and from a law enforcement agency responsible for one of the largest areas in the country. I’ve seen dick cops who would ticket their grandmothers to cops who cried because of being the first responder to a scene of someone whose life was snuffed out way too early in life.
    For those readers who experience migraines, fibromyalgia, depression, or other non-life-threatening yet totally life-changing illnesses, I can share almost 50 years of chronic pain. And I can share what it’s like to watch a loved one suffer through open heart surgeries, an amputation, multiple surgeries and injuries, and just short of 35 years of marriage … but I will only share the ups. It’s impossible for 2 people to live together for 35 years, or even 35 days, without experiencing some of the downs, too … but it’s not fair to discuss them when only one person can state their viewpoint. Suffice it to say, my husband was an angel to put up with me all those years, and I am lucky to have a guardian angel like him on my shoulder now.
    I believe in an afterlife; I believe in ghosts, or trapped spirits; and I believe in the possibility of many things that I can’t see or understand. So if any of this sounds like something that is worthy of your blog site, Artis, then I will be happy to contribute on occasion, when I can get motivated enough to drone on and on about my thoughts-du-jour ❤️

    • Hi Becky!

      I just realize we have something in common! We both worked for law enforcement offices! Great! We must share stories. I look forwards to reading what you have to share with me and my followers.

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