I Need A Life Sustaining Nugget from God

UnfoldTwo days ago Jeff and I was out looking for property. We’re trying to make my (his) dream come true of living in the mountains in a log home. No I ain’t got it like that! But! I’m willing to work hard for what I want.
Well any-who, we stopped at a local grocery store. A young white woman was getting out of an SUV. It appeared as if she was mean mugging me, Jeff or both. So I stopped looking her way and walked towards the store’s entry.
Her kid nearly knocked me down. He was a kid so I excused his, what appeared to be, bad behavior.
We crossed paths with the lady several times during our shopping trip. Oddly enough we checked out about the same time as she did. It was then when I saw the bigger picture.
She was a mom that has a child that is mentally challenge.
Her attitude was that of a frustrated parent.
My heart sank and all I concluded about her diminished as I could only imagine her life and the challenges she face daily.
So I thought to self this woman needs to know God has not forgotten about her. You know what I mean. Sometimes life can be so brutal that you need a life sustaining nugget from the Creator. So I asked my husband to pull our vehicle up to her so I could see what she needed.
She was finishing with putting her rambunctious kid and items into the car.
I looked at her with compassion. I said, “Mam, I’m a couponer. I have more than I can use. What can I bring back to you?” She was shocked! She looked as if she wanted to cry.
She said, “Wait a minute. I want my mom to hear this.” So she had her mom to roll down the window. I repeated what I had asked the lady to her mom. Her mom sat there speechless.

I spend most of my days trying to do what God expects of His children.  I even try to live my own life and allow others to live theirs.  But the past couple of days I’ve been so drained from toxic family members.  OMG!

Yesterday was a bad day!  I’ve had to cut ties with my oldest son based on a rumor that was a lie.  I’ve had to bridle my tongue when it came to dealing with family members that suffer from mental health issues.  I’ve had to listen to gossip about my actions concerning helping my son’s girl-friend purchase a new and reliable car.  Something that was meant to aid both he and her in continuing their journey to a secure financial future as a couple.  I allowed the rumors of what my son’s girl friend had done to keep from paying me get underneath my skin!  Later finding out she hadn’t done it!  My poor husband has had enough of watching the affects of me dealing with a toxic family.  He finally put his foot down starting with the loaning of the $5,000 to my oldest son’s girl friend that she now refuse to pay.  Now, I’m having to watch my husband suffer emotionally from his decision when it came to giving me the ultimatum about cutting ties with my son.

After years of returning to a family I found toxic I’ve found myself on unstable ground.  I can’t seem to get footing.  Lately, I’ve been seeing myself getting upset with God because he won’t just do away with them all!  Surly he sees they don’t serve a purpose.  They are so toxic that it’s the norm among them.  Really!  You know how babies communicate with each other and they sound silly!  Well that’s my mom’s family!  They sit and plan their future with the gain from peoples death.  They think it’s okay to take other people’s earthly belongings before the person dies!  Then!  Wait!  Then they tell that person that’s asking for their property back that they will decided who will get it once the she dies!  Then you have men wanting to beat up people for telling them the truth about their inabilities of being a man!  They wear unhealthiness like it was fashionable!  And!  In style!  Oh!  Wait!  Being unhealthy is in style!  That’s why Jesus had to die for us all!

But!  My mom’s family!  OMG!  They take greed, stupidity, ignorance, self-pity, deceit, thievery, dishonesty and so much more that decays the soul to heights that the word of God can’t penetrate them.  It’s as if they’ve been turned over to reprobate minds.

Yet!  They go to church every Sunday or most Sundays.  Always speak in such a manner that makes the hearer believe they are true followers of Christ.  Then in the backdrop of life their behavior clearly shows they don’t believe God is real.  Cause the things they do I would be afraid to die in their current state.
The thing that put me back in the pickle barrel of toxic people is the failing health of my mom.  After returning I see why my mom has heart problems spiritually and physically!
Gosh!  Doggit!  Her family is so toxic!
They make mountains out of molehills!  They want understanding but can’t give it!  They want compassion but don’t know how to apply it when it comes to dealing with others!

[Sigh] I find myself praying daily things that are crazy and later finding myself asking God for forgiveness for those crazy thoughts.

Prayer:  God, I need you to give me your peace that surpasses all understanding as I help my mom during the last phase of her life.  Let me be a good daughter not because I seek applause from onlookers but because your word says, “Honor thy mother and thy father.”  I ask your protection from the arrows of those that tend to do me harm physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I ask that your word continue to be truth in my life even when my way is cloudy.  And, most of all, God can you please give me a life nugget today.  Something that will feed my hungry soul on this journey you’ve aloud to unfold.  Amen

Advertisements

Everyone Deserves Their Good Name

Broken People

Photo taken from the internet.

Yesterday, I was very upset.  It seems the lies my family have shared with those that would listen were believed.  And what came to mind during this brief moment was something I was once told.  “Everyone deserves their good name.”  That statement holds true for the person that ruined yours.  Yet, the part of you that protects and loves you wants to seek revenge despite the truth.

In Humility Matters the author writes:

“An angry reaction is to use words that harm another.  Calumny is to speak about another and harm his or her good name.  It might be a truthful fact but not necessary for me to promulgate.  Slander is to actually speak and promote lies about another and testify false things about another as if they were true.  Everyone deserves a good name, and for us to devalue another has an irrevocable and damaging effect on that person’s social well-being.  Calumny and slander, however, most harm me because I falsely put myself above the other either in judgment or in vanity.  My own being is tarnished.  If I do this, I am not to be trusted.  If I am not trustworthy, I forfeit the honor of bearing witness.”

And tho my name has been ruined I must find ways to bury old feelings.  I must figure out another way to detach from those that ruined my name in the first place.  I must finish the task that opened this door of reality of the affects of people ruining my good name; so, I can continue of the path of living a joy filled life.