As my son’s parent it’s my job to see that he gets the best start in life. And! Since I made such a mess of my life by making poor decisions when I was young and netted nothing financially to aid my children when it came to helping them enter into the world as successful adults, then my son’s student loan repayments became mines because his entry into adulthood debt free is my job as his parent.
MA Concerned Mom asked:
I have asked my friends and family a million times but nothing works maybe someone can give me something else to try? I have a daughter who is 5 she is half african american half white. She is a beautiful girl but she HATES her color (carmel). Ive tried explaining to her that she is beautiful and no matter what color she is she is beautiful. Ive tried explaining everything to her it dont work! My son is very pale color and she seems to be so jealous of him I even have a hard time getting her to go to her.dads house or family’s cause she dont want to be around “colored” people. Its like she resents them for her color! She often ask who God punished her and made her brown or if she can paint herself white. Please someone have tips? Im out of ideads..
When I read the story something about the content tapped into my hidden issues of self-hatred. I immediately recognized the unhealthy emotions as painful childhood memories. Honestly, I wanted them to remain buried. Mainly because they are suppressed memories from my childhood. I didn’t know how to deal with them. Yet something bigger, something greater, did not want my feelings of hopelessness to stay buried. Apparently it is time I visited the giants that seemed so much bigger to the little girl in the photo.
Coming across the plea from a hopeless mother has changed my life. The story casts light on my life learned lessons about self-hatred.
Now that I am an adult I am wiser than the little girl within that continues to feel helpless, unloved, and ugly. Unknown to her I can go to the giants of rejection, abuse, and self mutilation. I can knock on their door without fear. I can barge my way into restraint places as a protector of hers and my mental well being. And most of all I give my spirit the authority to emotionally rescue the little girl in the photo and join her with the woman I have become.
Love yourself, for if you don’t how can you expect anybody else to love you? ~Author Unknown
- What Happens When Your Mother Tells You She Is Fat (awesomeashild.com)
- My Book Review of Is ‘Black’ Really Beautiful? by Kuir ë Garang (saywhatsavannahmae.com)
- “Dark Girls” Documentary To Make World TV Premiere on OWN (clutchmagonline.com)
- Black Is Beauty (julietveseke.wordpress.com)
It is me again. I come boldly with a humble spirit before you. I’m asking for your help to pray for those that are in need of prayer. Lord it has been a long time since I have prayed in a public setting. So, once again, I’m asking for help in praying for the needs of others.
Lord, I ask for peace to penetrate the hearts of humanity. I ask for love to transcend the walls of racial issues, marital issues, relationship issues, sibling issues, self-hatred issues, low self-esteem issues and etc. I’m asking for the Holy Trinity to aid all leaders from different nation’s in serving the needs of their people and the needs of the world.
But, Lord, I come to you with a special request on the behalf of American Black girls.
Someone once told me Lord that you love when your children repeat your Holy Words back to you during petitioning you for favor. Well . . . Lord here I am. I am reminding you of your promises. Your word says, “I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts. It was I who sent this great destroying army against you (Joel 2:25).”
Lord, my life is almost over. I am 51 and will soon turn 52; and, if you are kind I might successfully live another 30 to 40 years. I realize I can do a lot within 30 to 40 years but my heart laments over the wasted years of my youth.
Lord, because I feel my caregivers dropped the ball when it came to guiding me successfully in my youth I am praying for Black American girls this morning.
Lord, I am asking that you give them each a protective angel; an angel that will sweetly speak words of affirmation and encouragement in their ears to help them throughout life. I’m praying they understands they have a purpose in life. I’m praying each understands without question that they are not personal dumping ground for other’s. I am praying that you convey to them early the plans you have for them and their lives. Jeremiah 29:11 states, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Awe the words ‘future’ and ‘hope.’
Lord it is standard pattern and practice for other’s to feel their purpose is to rob American Black girls of their futures and hope. Therefore, Lord, I’m praying American Black girls will understand self-respect, self-love, and self-affirmation. For in doing so they will know their futures will be brighter with the knowledge of knowing they have hope.
Also, Lord, I am asking for you to set in motion a plan to restore order to American Black girls inherit fragile souls and give them your prosperity promises. Lord, I’m praying that each American Black girl is given the mindset to accept your gifts and learn to appreciate them.
So often others will make American Black girls feel guilty for having when they have not. But, Lord, I release your protective spirit in the lives of Black American girls that they will have life according to your riches and glory in Heaven and on Earth, and in doing so they will not allow others to steal their blessings. I’m praying Lord that you will allow American Black girls to see themselves as you see them: Psalm 139:14 states, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Your Loving Daughter,
Initially I was not sure how to speak on The Black Man’s Country Club. But you can find them in every city, every town, and every state on any corner and probably every country, I’m sure. For those of you that did not know your local Black barber shop is considered “The Black Man’s Country Club” well . . . now you know.
It is a place where Black men gather to receive professional haircuts and discuss current and past events. I tell ya! I love being among these Black men and talking stuff from a Black woman’s point of view [chuckle]. However, you must earn the right to speak among your captive audience. So enter if you dare to venture women of color in “The Black Man’s Country Club” but do not look for a date. Your presence in the establishment should be a desire to fellowship with men you have something in common. Being Black in America! And I can guarantee you; you will have the time of your life.
I’m being honest and real when I write, “do not look for a date.” Again, these men are there to get haircuts and discuss sports, local, national and global issue from a Black man’s point of view. Every now and then, if they have cultivated a friend relationship with a woman or women, they will discuss man/woman interactions; but they really do stick to discussing current and past events. Remember, they are not looking to be pick-up, hit-on and carried out like a sack of potatoes by desperate women.
And if you are going to stop by “The Black Man’s Country Club” take a young Black male with you. There is always a little boy in need of a haircut, perhaps it is your son, your nephew, your cousin, an extended family member, a church member or a neighborhood kid. It doesn’t matter who the kid is. It doesn’t matter if his parents are misusing monies they should spend on him getting a haircut. The importance is you making a difference in this young Black life.
It is nice when you watch the camaraderie among Black positive men; it is even nicer when they extend the right hand of fellowship to young Black men; so taking a young Black boy to a place where there are influential men of color is a good thing. And the deed done could be the act that changes a child’s life for the rest of his life because after all we were created to make a difference.
Remember: Black women have it going on!